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Twitter: The great pretenders

This article is more than 13 years old
From the Chilean miners to Princess Diana, many of Twitter's most successful accounts are spoofs. We unmask the imposters

@CherylKerl

Spoof tweeters: Cheryl Kerl
@CherylKerl: 'In real life I sell automatic doors to the construction ­industry.' Photograph: David Yeo for the Guardian

John Duffy, 53, Reading
Day job: Sells automatic doors
Followers (on 1 November): 40,588
I started a year ago. I like the accent, and tweeting in Geordie amused me. In real life I sell automatic doors to the construction industry, but you can pretend to be anybody on the internet, and this proves it.

At first, I'd gain 400 or 500 followers in every episode of The X Factor, then Greg James on Radio 1 got one of his Geordie production staff to voice the tweets every day for a month. Each time, I'd pick up 4,000 followers. It felt incredible. I'd done it with no idea of a commercial project, it was just a doodle. Now I've had a book published as Cheryl Kerl.

My first tweet was something like, "Why aye, I'm on twitter." For the first few months, it was exclusively about The X Factor, but after that I made her more of a social commentator. I'm keen not to be offensive to her: making light of the malaria and the divorce would be distasteful. She still talks about her own life, but she's just as likely to tweet about budget cuts and Keynesian economics.

Top tweets
Seimon's pulled rank so wiv aall gorra take One Direction doon the pawk tuh gan on the swings an feed the ducks.

Wei's the govamint gerrin rid a quangeaus? Leik Ah really enjoy a bag just as a snack noo an then. Specialee cheeze flava.

Aww, hazzen Nick Clegg done well faw himself? Leik thor he is t'dee gannin on aboot the IFS just as if he knas aall aboot it.

@chilean_miner

Spoof tweeters: Chilean miner
@chilean_miner: ''We wanted to divorce it from reality because if we tweeted about the news, at some point the mine could collapse and suddenly we'd be in a nasty place.' Photograph: David Yeo for the Guardian

Stephen Morrison, 37, London
Day job: Office receptionist
Alex Jenkins, 34, London
Day job: Journalist
Followers: 14,640
SM: Alex and I met at work, and tried tweeting as a married couple called Jules and Les. We had about 45 followers, which we deemed to be massively successful. Then the crisis hit in Chile and I had the idea to tweet from the bottom of the mine. I went to lunch one Friday and we had 40 followers, and after lunch we'd gone to 200. That was when we started to get nervous about what we'd write.

AJ: The comedy came from 33 work colleagues trapped in the same room for four months, having to make small talk. We wanted to divorce it from reality because if we tweeted about the news, at some point the mine could collapse and suddenly we'd be in a nasty place. When the miners were rescued, we brought it to a halt. We ended on one last tweet about having a well-earned bath and getting locked in the bathroom.

Top tweets
"If I wasn't trapped down this mine I'd probably be at work, down this mine."

"Can someone PLEASE let us know what's going on with Brangelina?? There is literally no gossip down here."

"Ramon thinks digging a second bedroom will add value to the mine."

@CatBinLady

Spoof tweeters: Cat bin lady
@CatBinLady: 'I had a suspicion I could get up to the 1,200 followers I had on my own Twitter account, but it did that in less than a day. In two days I had 20,000.' Photograph: David Yeo for the Guardian

Rich Neville, 42, Bristol
Day job: Ex-computer programmer
Followers: 32,497
I left my job about a year ago, and wanted to try comedy writing. The trigger for starting it was when things turned mean in the media and the real cat bin lady started getting death threats. I thought it was time to lighten the mood.

The account is not so much based on the woman herself but on the imaginary condition I've decided this character has that causes her to act on impulse. The first tweet was: "Just passed a shoe shop. Threw one of the sample shoes outside on top of a bus. Why do I do these things?" I also created a character called Brenda, who is a foil for cat bin lady's more mischievous side.

I had a suspicion I could get up to the 1,200 followers I had on my own Twitter account, but it did that in less than a day. In two days I had 20,000. Within 12 hours the account had been reported on Time magazine's site and MSN. People like Chris Addison, Clare Balding and Claudia Winkleman said nice things.

A few people think I am the original woman. The most recent "hate tweet" labouring under that illusion was: @CatBinLady U r so mean to innocent cakts you JERKOFF.

Top tweets
"In Tesco now. I've put some frozen sausages in with the cereals. They'll probably go off. I draw no pleasure from this."

"Lovely coffee at Brenda's, but as soon as she left the room I couldn't help tipping it down the back of her telly. Regretting it already."

"At my niece's birthday party. The cake's in the pond. It's not going down as well as I thought."

@DrSamuelJohnson

Spoof tweeters: Samuel Johnson
@DrSamuelJohnson: 'The whole idea has that mix of Radio 4 panel game and practical joke that appeals to a certain type of nerdy Englishman.' Photograph: David Yeo for the Guardian

Tom Morton, 37, London
Day job: Ad agency strategist
Followers: 22,162
I started in March 2009, just when Twitter was taking off. I've yet to meet a female fake tweeter. I think the whole idea has that mix of Radio 4 panel game and practical joke that appeals to a certain type of nerdy Englishman. At the launch of my Dr Johnson book, it was like a cross between an AGM of trainspotters and the League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I'm proud to be followed by Michael McKean, who played David St Hubbins in Spinal Tap: a fake lexicographer gets recognition from a fake guitarist. If you thought too hard about it, it would open up a black hole.

Top tweets
FISH FINGERS: "Maize-encrusted Appendages of a fabricated Sea-Creature, then hawk'd by a fabricated Sea-Captain."

HARRY POTTER: "Wizard whose greatest Spells have made Publick-Schools acceptable to the Masses & Infant-Books acceptable unto Adults."

WAYNE ROONEY: "Bruising Lancastrian sports-oaf, whose face was carv'd by almighty God from a POTATO."

@dianainheaven

Spoof tweeters: Diana in Heaven
@dianainheaven: 'I follow Twitter news feeds, which often announce celebrity deaths before Sky and the BBC, so it looks as if Diana is getting the scoop.' Photograph: David Yeo for the Guardian

Andy Dawson, 38, Sunderland
Day job: TV critic, Sunday Sport
Followers: 19,461
I don't know why I started tweeting as Diana – I'm not a particular fan. I imagine her as quite streetwise and foulmouthed, which she might have been in real life, I don't know. When Lily Allen retweeted it, I put on about 3,000 followers in two days.

Diana is in the VIP section of heaven. When someone famous dies, she writes about them arriving and what they're doing. She's got a massive crush on Jimi Hendrix, but he isn't interested.

The Daily Express ran a "ban this sicko" story about it, but apart from that the only negative feedback I get is from teenage girls. They say things like, "You sick freak, show some respect for the dead." And I think, "You're at an age where you should be disrespecting everything."

I follow Twitter news feeds, which often announce celebrity deaths before Sky and the BBC, so it looks as if Diana is getting the scoop. When Alexander McQueen killed himself, I wanted to leave it alone. When it's someone young, I won't get any comedy out of it, but when it's someone like Michael Foot or Cyril Smith, I can have a bit of fun.

Top tweets
"Paul The Psychic Octopus is here. We're not sure whether he should go in VIP (Animals) or not. That's because he looks fucking delicious."

(On Father's day) "Best wishes on this special day to the fathers of my children. Er, father, I meant father. As in only one."

"Cyril Smith's been here five minutes and already, all of the crisps have gone. All of Heaven's crisps have gone."

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